


Happy! Lucky! Smile! ...Gay?

by starlightsongs



Category: BanG Dream! Girl's Band Party! (Video Game)
Genre: Gay Rights, Gen, NO ONE is het mark my words, Nonbinary Character, Trans Female Character, Trans rights, anyways stan hhw for clear skin, hagumi trans, however she AGGRESSIVELY supports gay rights, jk kokoro is actually a clueless aro ace, kaoru trans, lgbtq rights hella, misaki nb, spoiler alert they are all gay
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-28
Updated: 2020-03-28
Packaged: 2021-02-28 23:03:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,187
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23355109
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starlightsongs/pseuds/starlightsongs
Summary: As if on cue, Kokoro Tsurumaki sauntered up to the door, pushing it wide open with the force of one hand.“So, who in this room is gay?”
Relationships: Matsubara Kanon/Okusawa Misaki, Minor or Background Relationship(s), background kaochisa, background kasuhagu
Comments: 11
Kudos: 79





	Happy! Lucky! Smile! ...Gay?

Kanon Matsubara rushed into band planning at Kokoro’s house, sweat dripping down her face.

“I’m sorry I’m late! I got lost again- _huh_?”

Often Kanon was the last one in the door due to her… _impeccable_ sense of direction. She knew this by now, and had fully accepted it. Though her bandmates reassured her that she hadn’t needed to apologize so much, it was a formality she couldn’t imagine letting go of, and would feel guilty if she had.

However, today, she was not the last one in the room. Hagumi, Kaoru, and Misaki had spread themselves out into different corners of the space, trying to understand Kokoro’s delay.

“I-is this not Kokoro’s house? Why isn’t she here yet?” Kanon asked, twiddling her thumbs as she looked around, confused by the matter. “The Suits greeted me and everything…”

As if on cue, Kokoro Tsurumaki sauntered up to the door, pushing it wide open with the force of one hand. It swung open immediately, its creaking sound high-pitched and lightning speed as the door slammed against the velvet wall. 

“I have an important question for everyone!”

_...Fuee?_

Kanon racked her brain anxiously trying to predict the question’s content while the other members looked on silently. The room filled with a mixture of wall-bouncing excitement, flirtatious smirking, suspicious alarmedness, and sheer terror at the shock of the blonde girl’s particularly grand and dramatic entrance. 

“So, who in this room is gay?”

_...Huh?_

_D-did she just say what I thought she said or...?_

The question was absolutely unheard of...in fact, a tad _invasive_ to her. She knew that she wasn’t alone in her thinking when all chatter in the room came to an immediate halt. 

“K-Kokoro?” Misaki stuttered, still in awe of the question. “Y-You c-can’t just ask people that!”

“Sure I can, I just did!” The blonde smiled, paying no particular mind to Misaki’s flabbergasted expression. Misaki unclenched her jaw, prepared to interject again when Kaoru began to chuckle.

“Why, isn’t that a flirtatious question from the dazzling Tsurumaki-kitten~” She chuckled, narrowing her eyes as she put her hands to her chest. 

“Perhaps you could say that I am, as gay as a warm summer day~” The purple-haired lesbian recited in a near perfect iambic pentameter, as if she were reading a script for a Shakespeare play over at Hanoeka. 

“Wow, Kaoru-kun! I had no idea summer days were gay! That’s lovely!” Hagumi piped in, her eyes glittering with joy. 

“Now that you mention it...it all makes sense! I’ve been thinking a lot about Kaa-kun...she really is like a summer day,” Hagumi recalled, her face reddening as she thought about her current crush. Kaoru nodded in agreement.

“Precisely. My dearest Chisato-san sparkles like the ocean waves. The darling Rimi is as sweet as a freshly ripe watermelon. Himari… she is as cheerful as the sun itself. All of my little kittens...and truly all of the women I’ve encountered…as beautiful as the essence of August,” Kaoru continued, her tone drifting into a dreamy one as she thought about her girlfriend and fanclub. 

“Girls,” She and Hagumi sighed in unison, their gazes drifting towards the ceiling, as if staring off into their own little dreamscape. 

_H-how...do they do that?_

Kanon remained quiet as the other two chattered freely amongst themselves, in awe of their willingness and openness to discuss the matter. Kaoru was a shoe-in considering she flirted with nearly every girl she met, but Hagumi’s interjection was a bit of a surprise to her. She then realized that she had never heard Hagumi mention her crush to the band before...but that was because there was never a need for her to.

“...That’s lovely! Girls must make you both happy!” Kokoro exclaimed, pumping her fists in the air. She then turned her gaze to Misaki and Kanon.

“Now, we can’t fully start rehearsal until everyone’s chimed in. Misaki! Kanon! Are you gay?”

Misaki and Kanon exchanged a look. Kanon knew immediately that Misaki was just as suspicious of the matter as she was and felt a small amount of relief rush through her veins.

“I-it’s none of your business,” Misaki stammered, clearly uncomfortable. “Why is this relevant to anything we do as a band?”

“Because our very existence is gay, Misaki!” Kokoro claimed as she put her hands on her hips. Misaki shot her a quizzical expression.

“...Is that why we use rainbow motifs so much?” She muttered to herself, to which Kanon chuckled, also not having noticed the connection made earlier.

Kanon looked around the room as Hagumi and Kaoru were smiling to themselves as they chatted about girls. She realized that it had been one of the few environments she’d been in where the subject had been approached with authenticity, as opposed to ambiguous hinting. 

She admired the courage and confidence amongst the three to be able to talk about this sort of thing so... _freely._

For Kanon, it wasn’t that she had struggled with internalized homophobia or anything like that, but often felt like who she was attracted to was... something she had to keep to herself. Like Misaki had said - something that was once nobody’s business, or something that no one had cared to hear about. Sure, she’d eventually get into a relationship and would have to come clean, but as a high school girl who wasn’t ready to date yet… What did it mean for her?

Kanon looked straight ahead while Kokoro looked at her still with a curious expression, awaiting her answer.

She sighed and could barely stammer an “u-um…” before Kokoro shrugged and diverted her attention.

_Someday..._

Soon after, rehearsal proceeded to follow as normal, which helped Kanon take her mind off of the matter a bit. Yet something still tugged at her with each drum roll she played. Yeah, Kokoro’s question was insensitive alright. And of course, she didn’t have to say anything she didn’t want to - was it really anyone else’s business anyways?

However,

Hadn’t she promised herself that she’d make an effort to be more brave? A bit more open about expressing herself?

“That’s a wrap, everybody!” Kokoro called out after what had felt like hours of drumming - drumming both within the house’s rehearsal room and within Kanon’s heart.

“Wow, that was awesome!” Hagumi cheered.

“Fleeting, if I may say so myself,” Kaoru asserted.

Kanon turned her head in Misaki’s direction, who seemed to be looking on towards the situation with a pensive expression. Kanon sensed that she, too, was still mulling over how to comprehend the start of their practice. 

“I still want to know what was up with the interrogation earlier,” Misaki commented, her eyebrows furrowing as the three had seemed to go about their business as normal. Kokoro shrugged.

“Interrogation? What’s that?” Kokoro asked, scratching her forehead. “I just wanted to know if everyone was gay.”

“Yeah, Kokoro, that’s a bit like _an interrogation_.” 

“Hmm, the way you phrase it like that makes it sound like a bad thing!” Kokoro exclaimed, putting her hands on her hips.

“Misaki, are you not gay?”

Kanon watched as Misaki’s mouth dropped wide open before shutting it and making a grunting noise.

“That’s not the point! The point is that none of us should have been pressured to tell you in that moment. It’s up to the individual to choose when and where they want to come out of the closet,” Misaki stated, folding her arms as she explained to Kokoro her frustration. In the corner of her eye, Kanon noticed Kaoru and Hagumi exchanging a look before nodding in agreement.

“That’s true! It’s not easy to be open about being different!” Hagumi exclaimed. “Back when my family and friends thought I was a boy, it was really really hard to work up the courage to tell them that I’m actually a girl!”

“It is precisely that, my dear Hagumi and Misaki,” Kaoru added on, nodding as she placed a hand on Hagumi’s shoulder. “You may look at me today and think I am able to freely discuss my gender identity and sexuality, but surely it has not always been like that. We owe it to the LGBTQ community as a whole to determine when they would like to tell publicly of themselves.”

Kanon noticed Misaki’s facial expression softening as she made eye contact with Hagumi and Kaoru.

“Kokoro, I’ll tell you this because Michelle told me it was okay to,” Misaki started.

_Michelle? But isn’t that just-_

“S-she’s trying to figure herself out right now. She…. likes girl- bears! Girl-bears yeah uh... like, a lot……...even though all of the other girl-bears in her circle like boy-bears. B-besides, she doesn’t even know if... she identifies as a girl-bear to begin with,” She stammered, scratching the back of her head as she tried to maintain the eye contact with Kokoro. 

As Misaki continued, going into further facts about consent and being respective of people’s boundaries, Kanon couldn’t help but think about Misaki’s spiel on Michelle. Surely there was no way she ad-libbed that, so it had to be true about herself... didn’t it?

_Misaki-chan is scared… just like me_.

“The main point is, Kokoro, you should really consider what people are going through before asking personal questions,” Misaki exhaled, eyeing Kokoro as she awaited her response.

“Hm…? Hiding it in a closet...LGBTQ…” Kokoro said aloud, still processing everything that her band members had told her.

“But, why would anyone want to hide their happiness away?” She asked, her face painted with confusion. Hagumi and Kaoru exchanged a look while Misaki directed her gaze towards the floor. Kanon bit her lip, knowing everyone was thinking the same thing.

“Because, the world isn’t as accepting as you think. Not everyone gets to be themselves and be treated with the respect they deserve!” Misaki retorted, her tone rising with agitation. Kokoro, meanwhile, continued to stare ahead blankly.

“Well, I think that the whole world deserves to be gay!”

... _Huh?_

Kanon stepped backwards, not quite understanding the response. However, she was not alone in this reaction as the room filled with “huh?”s and “what?”s everywhere. 

Until...it hit her.

And she began to smile.

Kanon knew it wasn’t like Kokoro to ask personal questions unannounced, nor did she necessarily make the direct connection between her question and the way Hagumi and Kaoru fawned over girls. Kokoro had continued to insist that the band’s existence was “gay” and seemed to attempt to connect the dots when terms like “closeted” and the “LGBTQ” were mentioned.

“Everyone…I think there’s a big misunderstanding...” Kanon started, the smile creeping upon her lips and turning into a small giggle. Hagumi, Kaoru, and Misaki all exchanged a look of confusion.

“Ah! There we go. See? Kanon is gay!” Kokoro exclaimed, pointing to Kanon’s smile.

“Exactly. When Kokoro asked if we were gay, she had thought the word was solely a synonym for “happy”, unaware of its more common, present-day connotations,” Kanon explained, putting a hand over her mouth to stifle a laugh. Almost immediately, Kaoru, Hagumi, and Misaki’s expressions changed. Hagumi made a large “O” with her mouth before bursting into laughter herself. Kaoru smirked and put her hand to her face, repeating “oh, how fleeting!” to herself. Misaki’s face had turned bright red as she bit her lip.

_Probably embarrassed that she- (they?? Fuee I should ask about Misaki-chan’s pronouns...) didn’t think of it first…_

“Oh my god. That makes so much more sense,” Misaki stated, burying her face in her hands. 

“Yeah! I’m happy that we can now all be gay together!” Kokoro exclaimed, pumping her arms in front of her like a cheer. Hagumi and Kaoru echoed “yeah!” in agreement. Misaki sighed, realizing that the enthusiastic blonde still didn’t quite get it.

“Listen, Kokoro. I’m happy that we sorted this misunderstanding. However, I don’t think that means that you should use that word freely whenever you wan-”

“Oh, would you look at the time? It’s time to... head to McDonald’s and get a Gay Meal! Who wants to come with?” Kokoro interrupted, placing her hands on her hips and looking around the room. Kaoru and Hagumi’s hands immediately shot up as they chanted “McDonald’s! McDonald’s! McDonald’s!”

“Don’t you have food at home…?” Kanon cautiously pondered, thinking about the size of the Tsurumaki mansion and how many chefs they would have hired.

“Yeah, but eating at home doesn’t make me _nearly_ as gay! It’s much more fun to go to McDonald’s!” Kokoro answered, ignoring the death stare from Misaki who looked like she was about to give her another lecture.

“Let’s go and be gay everybody!” Kokoro bounced, motioning her hand. She looked towards Kanon to ask if she, too, wanted to come along. Kanon, not wanting to think about going near that disastrous fast food chain whenever she wasn’t on shift, politely declined.

“Happy!” Hagumi called as they began to storm out.

“Lucky!” Kaoru continued.

“Smile…” Kanon quietly cheered them on from the side.

“GAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!” Kokoro exclaimed as she ran out the door, Hagumi and Kaoru trailing closely behind.

_They’re so silly...but this is why they’re so lovable_.

Kanon sat down in her drummer’s chair as she began to take apart her snare from the kit. She smiled to herself thinking about the situation. No, maybe she wasn’t as brave as she would’ve liked to be, but the session… as crazy and somewhat uncomfortable as it had gotten… had felt cathartic in a way. She had been exposed to an environment where the word “gay” had been treated in a mostly positive manner, mistaken definition or not. She remembered again the way that Kaoru and Hagumi had opened up with ease and reminded herself that she’d soon be just as courageous as them. 

Something that she really appreciated about Hello, Happy World! was how it constantly was pushing her to be the best version of herself. Sure, sometimes she was asked to do some wacky stunts that were way out of her comfort zone, but under the protection of the Suits, she knew they were always safe risks to take. And when she decided to make the leap, the feeling was always an indescribable sense of happiness that could not be replaced. Being in the band helped her perform selfless, life-changing acts like inspiring a girl to walk, rescuing a penguin, or restoring an old amusement park. She had grown to think more on her feet, whether it was helping her friends out at a deserted island or just knowing when to cheer someone up or be of support.

_...Speaking of which._

Kanon turned to Misaki, who had been unusually quiet on the other side of the room. She appeared to be scrolling through something on her phone.

_I want to talk to Misaki-chan...about what happened and what she- (they???) said.  
_ _Fuee...but how do I do that? What if I sound intruding...or meddling?_

No.

Misaki wouldn’t have said anything at all if she hadn’t wanted someone to listen. Misaki may have talked about Michelle, but it was shared knowledge that Kanon understood the two of them were one and the same.

Talking to Misaki about a potentially sensitive matter was a risk… but maybe this was the risk she was supposed to take.

“Misaki-chan?” 

Kanon made her way over to sit by her fellow bandmate. The DJ looked up from her phone with a troubled expression, biting her lip as if she knew immediately what Kanon was going to ask.

“Y-yeah I know… it was... um… embarrassing… all of that over a misunderstanding… ahahaha….” Misaki trailed off, as she avoided eye contact with the blue-haired girl beside her. Kanon shook her head emphatically.

“Not at all,” she started, thinking about how she’d tactfully phrase her input. 

_Michelle is the one who came out... not_ _Misaki_.

“I actually thought Michelle was very brave.”

Misaki looked up, confused at what Kanon was trying to imply.

“It’s not easy to share something personal about one’s self, so I think the fact that Michelle worked up the courage to be public about it is really admirable,” Kanon remarked.

“I think it’s really great that Michelle is friends with you, the rest of Hello, Happy!, and others who can support her- fuee! Sorry, I mean them!” Kanon gasped, quickly covering her hands over her mouth at the pronoun mixup. Misaki laughed in response.

“Michelle… identifies as nonbinary, but they’re okay with any pronouns - including she/her. Thank you for checking though,” Misaki clarified, a small smile forming onto her face as she continued the dialogue.

“Of course! That’s what friends are for!” Kanon assured, giving two thumbs up.

“I guess where I’m getting at with this is that... while I think what Michelle did is brave, in no way should you feel pressured to do the same for yourself, Misaki-chan. It’s like you said - it’s up to the individual to decide when they want to come out. And in no way should you feel ashamed if you’re not ready yet.”

As Kanon spoke, she realized that these were the words she needed to hear too.

Because bravery wasn’t about taking risks when she was afraid,

It was about taking safe, and healthy risks when it felt right to do so.

“Of course. Thanks, Kanon-san… for everything. I really appreciate it,” Misaki commented sincerely, nodding at Kanon, who smiled back.

“I gotta say… it felt like a weight off of my chest to admit all of that - even if it was only _partially_ outing myself,” The DJ admitted as she stared at the ceiling. 

“It was a really clever way to do so,” Kanon noted, thinking fondly about how her friend who had once loathed the bear costume, became more and more able to use it to her advantage as a way to express herself.

...Which gave Kanon an interesting idea of her own.

“...hey, Misaki-chan.”

Misaki looked up.

“Could you pass on a message to Michelle? From her good friend...um… Non-chan?”

Kanon knew that referring to herself in a less honorific tense wasn’t quite the same as the Misaki & Michelle shtick, but wanted Misaki to feel a little less… alone in this.

Misaki’s eyebrows raised at the unheard nickname, but nodded along willingly.

“Non-chan...is still trying to understand herself too. She’s actually a bit scared at the thought of being so open with anyone else on this matter. However… she gets it. She also likes girls and… wants to be there to listen to Michelle if it’s something she ever wants to talk to her about.”

_This...feels safer, somehow._

_Something that I wanted to say without being too direct or blunt about it._

_A risk that I’m not afraid of._

_And I get to support Misaki-chan too by doing it._

Kanon looked towards her friend in that moment and...almost immediately felt at peace. At peace with her decision, with her role in the band, and... where she now stood with Misaki. Hopefully, a bit closer than where she was before.

Misaki’s mouth curled into a slight smile.

“Of course. I’ll be sure to let her know.” 

  
  



End file.
